Glowsticks
by Confused Panda Bear
Summary: When Gou comes to him for a very unique favour, Haru finds it difficult to say no. They agree to keep things between them and in the realms of "just friends," but Haru is leaving for Tokyo after graduation, and feelings just ruin everything, don't they?
1. How to Begin

**Glowsticks**

**By Confused Panda Bear**

* * *

**Prologue: Part I**

**"How to Begin"**

* * *

"Haruka-senpai?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you a favour...?"

* * *

He thought he had misheard her.

The use of the word 'lessons' threw him off, thinking that her request had something to do with swimming.

It turned out to be the furthest thing from it.

"I...don't quite understand…"

"Well," she blushed, averting her gaze from his wide-eyed stupor. "There's this guy…"

And Haru had decided in an instant that he was going to say no: even after he let her explain her reasoning, even at the expense of her embarrassment.

Because it just wasn't right.

She was Gou – Rin's _little sister_.

So he had no idea why it took him almost the whole journey home to deliver his verdict.

"I'm sorry, Kou," he finally spoke, pausing just in front of her house. "I…I just can't."

Having walked her back after school, silently listening to her reasoning, Gou could not help a hurt look ghost across her face.

She forced a smile all the same.

"That's okay, Haruka-senpai. I understand," she said and patting her on the head, Haru turned to take his leave.

Gou watched him depart without looking back and knew then more than ever why she chose him from the beginning.

Because even though she couldn't help the embarrassment she felt, Nanase Haruka was not a guy to tease her about it, or intentionally make her feel humiliated.

Even so, she waited until he turned the corner at the end of her road before she ran up the driveway and straight to her room, throwing herself onto her bed face first.

Burying her reddened cheeks into the pillows, she willed herself not to cry.

Rejection was never nice, regardless of the situation.

But to her surprise, less than five minutes later, the boy was back at her doorstep, panting slightly like he had sprinted back to her house with a change of heart.

"Okay. I have a few questions," Haru breathed. "Can I come inside?"

Gou watched him warily as he slipped off his shoes and appraised the immediate area.

"Where is your mother?"

"She's working the night shift today."

Gou lead them up to her bedroom in silence.

"I just want to know…" Haru's throat contracted when he caught sight of her bed. "…why me?"

Gou appeared unprepared for his question when she ducked her head to hide her eyes underneath her bangs.

"I – I was thinking about it for ages," she replied. "I thought about all the guys I knew and trusted enough to ask, a–and came to the conclusion that you were the right person for the job…"

She had spoken of her interest in the Samezuka captain, and how his 'previous conquests' and his 'breadth of experience' had intimidated her, and how she wanted to 'get little practice' in before she agreed to date him.

Gou had always been attracted to Haru somewhat, even though she knew he only saw her as a friend, basically a little sister.

They had grown close during the past year as part of the team, and considering everything that happened with her brother, felt like they had an understanding between them that she did not share with any of the other guys.

"Rin will kill me; you know that right?" was the first thing Haru had to say – that reason alone accounting for about 90% of his concerns.

"He doesn't need to find out," Gou insisted. "No one needs to know."

Stillness stretched as deliberation crawled over Haru's features and gnawed at her every nerve ending.

"It's okay if you don't want to," she added, like something of an afterthought. "Maybe I'll ask Makoto-senpai or–"

"–No, no, I'll do it!"

Haru sounded frantic, but maybe that was just her ears.

Gou's eyes lit up the entire room; "really…?"

Haru nodded, not trusting his tongue to produce an appropriate response.

It was the thought that she would then ask someone else that had torn at him before. It was what made him come sprinting back – and definitely _not_ that little voice inside his head that told him that he was a little bit interested and, if not, a little bit intrigued.

Gou was excitedly chattering on in his stupor, "…thank you so much, Haruka-senpai, I knew I could count on you–!"

And that was when she realised that Haruka had begun undressing methodologically, like he did when near a body of water: unbuttoning his shirt from the collar down and was even reaching for his belt before Gou frantically grabbed at his wrist.

" –W–Wait a second, Haruka-senpai!"

"What?" he said, appearing confounded.

"What are you doing?!"

"I'm getting ready to–"

"–I–I'm not a…a pool!"

He looked as if he were struggling to understand her reaction.

She sent him a pained look.

"Can we try to take things a little–" she swallowed "–slower?"

The boy cocked his head slightly with suspicion.

"Kou," he began, careful with his tone of voice. "You've…done stuff with other guys before – right?"

He caught her lip tremble.

"D–Define 'stuff'…?"

"You've…kissed a guy before, right?"

Gou faltered for the longest second before she shook her head, and Haru raised a hand to his temple to soothe an impending headache.

He really shouldn't be doing this.

She was only a year younger than him, but she was so much more innocent – Rin had made sure of that.

He should have sat her down and talked her out of it – told her to find the right person to stumble through the ups and downs with intimacy with – someone who cared about her just as much as she did them.

But instead, he leaned in to kiss her, and it would be the biggest mistake of his life.

He felt her startle; her lips pucker like a child kissing a parent goodnight.

He pulled himself away almost immediately, now even more unsure than he was before.

The inner conflict was written all over his face before he could stop himself.

"Was it that bad?" Gou cowered meekly, misreading his expression.

A fraction of his hesitation was all she needed before she released a strangled noise that was a mixture of anger and embarrassment and threw herself into the pillows of her bed once more.

"Wait, Kou – I didn't…"

At a loss for how to salvage the situation, Haru could not think to do anything else but climb onto the bed with her.

He shifted sinuously over to her. Gou turned to face him, feeling the mattress sink with their combined weight.

He held that position, on his hands and knees, studying her with that expressionless gaze.

Without a word, he raised his hand to brush the hair out of her face: his even breathing a stark contrast to her own, sharp inhales.

He let his thumb smooth along the curve of her cheekbone and then skate across her lower lip, using it to pry her mouth open and swirl the single digit around her tongue.

He lowered his face next to hers and pressed his nose against the shell of her ear:

"Open your mouth this time," he instructed lowly. "I want to taste you."


	2. The Consequences

**Glowsticks**

**By Confused Panda Bear**

* * *

**Prologue: Part II**

**"The Consequences"**

* * *

How things have changed since then, Haru thought.

Or he would have, if thinking were possible in his current situation.

"_Fuck_, Kou…" he breathed, already past coherence. "Don't stop…"

Matsuoka Gou has always been beautiful: with her autumn eyes and her scarlet ponytail and her tiny, perfectly proportioned body that could be appreciated even underneath that baggy tracksuit of hers.

But the sight of her between his legs with her mouth wrapped around him was always something to be marvelled.

His throat extended, eyes staring unfocused on his bedroom ceiling above them – all the while wondering when and how had he become so utterly helpless in the grip of her passion?

But he did know.

He was the one responsible for it.

He had taught her how to turn him on and push his every button.

Even the way she lifted her eyes through her lashes to gaze up at him was perfectly engineered to drive him over the edge.

Gently, Haru fisted the hair at the back of her head and pulled her away from him.

Her breathing was as heavy as his. Her mouth was slick and her eyes glassy with the unspoken request for him to fuck her until she couldn't see straight.

"That's enough," he said roughly, and with the same roughness, took her lips in what seemed to be a determined collision.

Once they were done, they lay together in a tangle of limbs, covered in a thin layer of sweat and intensely satisfied.

Cuddling was never an option after what they did, so Haru would run her a bath because she always ached so deliciously after he had been inside her for one, two, maybe even three rounds.

He would never taint the water with scented oils and bubbles for himself but for her, he prepared a symphony of artificial smells and salts that claimed to induce relaxation and bodily healing way beyond their actual capabilities.

Perhaps, he thought grimly, this was his way of showing her that he cared.

He was in the kitchen fixing a snack when he heard her appreciative sigh as she slipped into the water he had prepared for her.

Switching off the stove, he entertained the idea of joining her but stopped short when he saw her slight profile, relaxed against the edge of the tub.

Her hair had been pulled into a messy bun and he could just about make out her shapely silhouette peaking like islands from beneath the clouded water.

She smiled up at him, gratefully.

"Hey."

He said nothing, aware of the intense expression on his face.

Instead, he approached her whilst she studied his every step, surprised when he knelt down beside the bath and leaned over the edge of it to kiss her deeply.

He caressed her cheekbone with his thumb, cradling her jaw the palm of his hand.

"How are you feeling?" he said, as if he hadn't just dealt her one last, devastating blow.

An unusual expression flashed across her face: the same one she wore that night she told him that she loved him, and it was like she was saying it all over again.

Gradually, it faded and only a sorrow remained.

His throat locked firmly, struggling to catch his breath.

"Kou, I–"

"–It's ok, Haruka-senpai," she said, lifting herself out of the bath. "This won't happen again."


	3. An Introduction to Seduction

**Glowsticks**

**By Confused Panda Bear**

* * *

**Chapter One:**

**"An Introduction to Seduction"**

* * *

Why Nanase Haruka?

Gou wasn't sure how to answer that.

Because, in her mind, Haru had always been the man for the job.

Of course, she had thought over her decision numerous times. She carefully considered several other candidates and their suitability, but found no better option than him.

For instance, her closest friends Nagisa and Rei were out of the question. They were too much like younger siblings to her – despite being the same age – and Gou could not stomach the thought of the two, whom she considered as familial as her own brother, touching her in _that_ way.

At first glance, Tachibana Makoto had been the obvious choice. He was a textbook gentleman, the handsome prince who would treat her and her wishes with respect.

But it was because of those traits that had made Gou decide against him, as the Makoto she knew would refuse her suggestion in a heartbeat.

He was just too nice; his conscious too honourable to take on the task at hand.

Yamazaki Sousuke briefly crossed her mind and she would have seriously considered asking him, having known him for as long as she did.

There was no one else she trusted more than the boy who used to beat up playground bullies for her when they were kids but there was one, fatal downside to the butterfly swimmer: and that was his true allegiance lay with her brother.

Even though their friendship had spanned over half their lives, Gou could not risk Rin finding out about what she was up to. Now, _that_ would be a hard one to explain.

In the end, Haru had been her first and coincidentally the best choice, and though Gou would not admit it out loud, she was glad that it was him.

Because, despite his standoffish demeanour towards everyone else, Nanase Haruka had always treated her differently. They had an understanding between them that no one else in their group shared.

He would talk to her, about things he didn't with the others. It started with her brother and his behaviour when he returned to Japan, and then what he was going to do about swimming and college and everything beyond their high school years.

Haru was a good listener too. She often went to him to vent her worries about everything from midterms to Rei's baffling inability to swim anything else but butterfly.

Even when he could not help or provide an answer, he had a calming quality that could be felt by just being around him. She knew that in his hands, she would not be so scared.

* * *

Ok, fine. She had to admit.

The fact that Gou was somewhat physically attracted to him was also a major contributing factor to her careful decision making.

There was no hiding the fact that she still harboured the tiniest ever crush on the boy ever since Nagisa reintroduced them whilst he was wet and shirtless in his living room.

Even after they became close friends, Gou would still find herself swooning over his sculpted triceps at practice every now and then and who could blame her?

Makoto, Sousuke and the others turned heads in their own rights but in her eyes, Nanase Haruka was in a different league: tall, dark and devastatingly handsome by anyone's standards.

His lean body coupled with his handsome face and cool, blue stare guaranteed that he was the sole recipient of female admiration anywhere he went.

And though Haru, in typical Haru fashion, remained outwardly indifferent by the attention he received, he was well aware of it – used it when it suited him.

"Hey Matsuoka, what's up with you and Nanase?"

An upperclassman girl she had never spoken to in her entire life had once cornered her in the ladies bathroom, taking up an imposing stance directly in front of the hand driers and waiting for Gou's answer even though her hands were soaked and poised in front of her like a t-rex's arms.

"What do you mean?" she said unsurely. "He's just a friend...we-we're both on the swim team."

The girl dealt her a sceptical look that tracked over Gou's face for any hints of deception, before deciding that her blinking, innocent eyes were probably telling the truth.

"Yeah, well you better keep it that way," she warned her without invitation. "Nanase Haruka is the use 'em and lose 'em kind of guy. He's an absolute god in bed but if you want anything more than that, prepare to have your heart broken, alright?"

It wasn't hard to confirm through several gossipy sources that Haru had indeed been seeing the girl 'after hours' and she demanded exclusivity in their relationship – only to be mercilessly shot down by the former.

Gou was not shocked by this revelation. It was easy to envision Haru being fatally uninterested in a romantic relationship that would be deemed 'too much effort' on his part.

If anything, this made the option of him all the more enticing because not only did Haru have the experience that she needed from a potential 'guide' – he had the necessary ability to detach himself from anything that could cause an overly emotional reaction.

He was a man devoted only to his friends and she knew for sure that he would not let her down.

* * *

A whole week had passed since Haru agreed to help her.

And, although no one would have noticed it, they had hardly spoken a word to each other since.

Even though she had been the one to insist that their relationship outside of their 'lessons' remain the same, Gou and her inexperience in these sorts of things had completely forgotten what it meant to act 'normal' around him, so she opted for dodging all openings for natural conversation instead.

Of course, there was no avoiding him at practice.

No avoiding his as-good-as-naked body and how it's welcome weight had felt on top of her.

Deep in her own thoughts, Gou did not register the man himself swimming up to where she was crouched by the side of the pool, arms wound around her knees.

Haru stopped in front of her, hair wet and goggles rested around his neck and just out of earshot from the others practising their relay dives at the other end of the pool.

He stared at her for a drawn out minute: long enough for Gou to recall his lips on hers and his hands expertly finding all the curves underneath her clothes.

Blood rushed to her cheeks before she could help it.

"Does it bother you?" Haru asked, abruptly.

Gou blinked back at him, stalling her answer with an obvious question.

"What does?"

"What we did last week," he stated simply, and she ducked her head in an attempt to hide her face behind her bangs.

"No, I mean...it's not like we...we just kissed, after all..."

Haru held back a smile, deciding against reminding her that before that afternoon, Gou hadn't held hands with a boy, let alone kissed one.

"Then why are you avoiding me?"

Gou's eyes were wide, feigning innocence when she finally raised her head to face him properly.

His expression was set to a neutral as always and she wondered how he managed to remain so calm about everything.

Even the way he spoke was so composed it was almost impassive: continuing to act as if what they had done was completely normal – as if he were not thinking about it every minute of every day afterwards like she had.

Haru tilted his head at her and she averted her gaze back down to her toes.

"I was just..." she continued, tracing the lines of the tiles by her feet with her forefinger shyly. "I mean, I wasn't sure how to ask...when we'd be...meeting next?"

And that was the first time she saw Haru's collected demeanour crack.

He appeared taken aback but her boldness, so much so that he somehow lost his footing on the tiled pool floor and had to splash around a bit to save himself from drowning.

Gou remedied before he got the wrong idea:

"I mean, no pressure. Whenever you have the time," she said. "It's just that Mikoshiba-san has left for college now and I thought it would be best that, well, before he gets any other offers..."

Her sentence trailed off and Haru had not thought it were possible for her face to turn even redder, now verging somewhere close to the spectrum of her hair.

He wanted to ask her what she saw in that guy, but decided that the less he knew, the better.

"Is your mother home today?" he asked, and Gou appeared dejected.

"Yes, she only works nights on Fridays."

"My house is free," Haru offered, painfully aware that he was stating the obvious. "Though, if you are more comfortable at home, we can wait until–"

"–Is that alright, Haruka-senpai?" Gou perked up. "Can I come over after practice today?"

She watched his throat flash, his face deliberate over her proposal, before giving her a curt nod and swimming away without another word.

Gou flinched against the small droplets of water that splashed onto her tracksuit at his departure, trying not to read into his reaction too much.

It must as strange for him as it was for her, she admitted to herself.

They were friends, and Haru had probably never thought of her as a woman before – as someone desirable like the girls he usually went for.

She wondered, if she hadn't been so pathetically disheartened by his initial refusal (and made little effort to hide it), would he still have come back and agreed to help her?

Gou sighed, cupping her cheek with her hand.

Probably not.

* * *

The remainder of practice was a _disaster_.

With his mind running at a million miles an hour, Haru's dives became sloppy, his pacing not as steady and his form was just – all over the place.

The change was noticeable even to the rest of the team that when Makoto helped him out of the pool at the end of practice, he jokingly asked if Haru had forgotten how to swim.

Whilst they changed back into their uniforms, however, Makoto said in all seriousness: "Are you feeling alright, Haru?" because even though Haru was the quiet type, he was never as silent as he was that afternoon.

"I'm fine," he lied, so unconvincingly that he had to lie again to cover it up: "Maybe I'm coming down with something. I think I'll eat at home tonight."

"Are you sure?" Makoto said, face writ with concern. "I can bring over a plate for you later, if you like?"

Haru shook his head feverishly.

Now, that would be catastrophic.

He often ate at the Tachibana household at Makoto's mother's insistence. She had been best friends with his parents and vowed to care for Haru like another son.

Tonight however, he would have to decline her hospitality with reason that he had somehow lost his appetite – which, to be fair, wasn't far from the truth.

Of course, he felt bad lying to her and his best friend, but brushed it off knowing that he would be doing far more shameful things later that night.

Not long after practice, Gou was sat on his living room couch with her palms tucked under her thighs.

Silently, Haru handed her a cup of tea he had just brewed and she took it, grateful to have something to do with her hands.

Finally, he sat down next to her – careful not to sit too close – the awkwardness between them a painful reminder of just how much their relationship had changed, no matter how he convinced himself it hadn't.

Although he was never one to contribute much to their conversations, Gou always happily filled his gaps with her laughter and chats about inconsequential things.

Now, she was sat in his living room as still a statue, gripping her cup of tea so tightly he feared that it would shatter under the pressure of her fingertips.

To alleviate the silence between them, Haru reached over to retrieve the TV remote rested on the arm of the couch next to her – realising his error only when he heard her gasp at the unexpected proximity.

Feeling as if he had already crossed the line, he pulled away and pretended to be heavily invested on whatever was on the first channel he could tune into – however, the news and weather forecast was easily overshadowed by the expectant presence Matsuoka Gou next to him, waiting patiently for his next move.

"You want to ask me something," she said, when Haru had sat lamely doing nothing for another ten or so minutes.

He answered her with an incredulous look which she dismissed, telling him that: "it's written all over your face."

Haru turned to her, a peculiar feeling spanning from his stomach to the base of his throat.

He did not want to ask, to embarrass her even more.

But he needed to know – he had to understand exactly what he was getting himself into – even though they both knew that they were too far gone to turn back now.

"Why," Haru cleared his throat, "why have you never been...dated a guy before?"

He couldn't bring himself to say anything more intimate.

The thought of her wanting to do those things with anyone else but him did not sit well with him, for reasons he did not care to contemplate.

Gou held her chin between her forefinger and thumb, oblivious of his inner turmoil.

"Onii-chan made it incredibly...difficult for anyone to get close to me."

Despite herself, she laughed at the change of Haru's expression from forced impassivity to shock and perhaps confusion.

"Don't look so surprised! You _know_ how Rin can be. Ever since my father died, he took it upon himself to become 'the man of the house', and his duties included protecting my innocence for as long as he possibly could."

She heaved a sigh, shaking her head to herself.

"Even when he was in Australia, he would get Sousuke to check up on me, scare away any guys who showed any interest..."

Haru nodded understandingly.

It was a completely plausible explanation.

Only Rin was capable of acting so psychotic.

"...It wasn't needed," Gou continued. "My mother struggled for a long time after my father's accident, so I had no interest in boys growing up because caring for my family always came first. But one day, she asked why I was always at home on weekends and why I didn't have a boyfriend yet and that was when I realised that maybe she didn't need me around as much as I thought!"

Gou smiled grimly, looking to Haru as if expecting a response, but was answered with his questioning expression that she could read like an open book.

The blush on her cheeks deepened.

"It's not like I wasn't interested in boys," she explained. "I was just content with...admiring from afar."

The corners of Haru's lips tugged upwards.

Gou did always seem happiest when at their swim meets, swooning over the large concentration of muscles from the sidelines.

She continued, her voice hesitant: "I always knew I'd date eventually, but I suppose I've left it a little too long. Now, I don't have the confidence to speak to a guy I like, let alone attempt to...do _stuff_...with them..."

Her head dipped in shame, even though there was no reason for her to be.

It was clear that it was something she was very insecure about, and a part of Haru was glad that she was able to tell him, to come to him first so that he could guide and protect her before someone took advantage of her naivete.

He ran a hand over the nape of his neck.

God_, _he thought. He could tell himself anything to make this situation feel less sinful.

Noticing that his pensive silence had put Gou even more on edge, he decided to drop the subject and hand her the remote to the TV.

"You're not enjoying this. Shall we watch something else?"

Their fingers brushed and the static that leapt from her skin and jolted through to his bones.

Before she could pull herself away, Haru grabbed her hand in his and squeezed it encouragingly, as if to relay to her that somehow, things were going to be ok.

Acting as if it were completely normal to do so, Gou surfed through the channels with their fingers intertwined on the couch between them.

She settled for a made-for-TV drama that she followed, and even though the opening five minutes absolutely nauseated him, Haru was convinced he would endure anything to get her to relax a little more.

It wasn't long before Gou became too engrossed in the main characters story line to care for the internal struggle happening next to her.

Soon, Haru was wondering how to get her attention back on him when she asked, out of the blue:

"Who is prettier, me or her?"

Startled, Haru looked over the scene of the poorly trained actress monologuing broodingly about her cheating lover or something like that.

She was pretty, yes, but not his type.

And this was certainly a trick question that he would not fail, answering the girl without a second's hesitation:

"You, of course."

Gou snorted.

"You're lying.

"I'm not." His gaze swept over the television screen again, degrading the actress with one look. "Your question is silly. I don't make opinions on girls I will never meet."

Gou nodded to herself, considering his words with more seriousness than he had intended: understanding that Haru had only picked her because she was his only viable option of the two.

She looked over the girl on screen, tears falling prettily down her unblemished cheeks.

It was a very Haruka-senpai answer, after all.

"Why do you ask?"

Even though he waited patiently for her answer, his gaze was so intense that Gou lowered her eyes to the floor between them.

"I was just wondering...what _do_ you find attractive – in a girl?"

With all the courage she could muster, Gou turned to face him and the full onslaught of his impossibly blue eyes boring into hers.

His jaw muscles flexed.

It wasn't difficult to work that out, surely?

Haru had always thought that Gou was pretty, but now he was torturing himself with the knowledge that her lips were as soft as they looked.

His head dipped towards hers as if by impulse.

"Did I not just answer that question?"

Their foreheads touched and whatever response she had to that melted away.

He kissed her then, as he did the day before: cautious of her lips, plump against his and clumsily mimicking his movements.

Haruka gave her a ten-out-of-ten for enthusiasm, enjoying her reciprocation more than her lack of technique.

Eventually, he parted their heads to give her time to breathe and Gou drew back against the couch, appearing disconcerted.

She held her face in her hands, cheeks burning into her palms.

"I'm sorry!"

Haru panicked.

"For what?"

She peeked up at him through her parted fingers.

"I – I know I'm not very good at this..." she explained, and he couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief.

"No one is, to start with," he reasoned with her lightly. "Isn't that why we are practicing?"

Lowering her hands, Gou nodded and assumed her previous position, albeit a little more rigidly than before.

"The trick is not to think too much," Haru said as ways to offer guidance, though he wished he had a way with words like Rei so that he could tell her that he thought she was doing more than fine. "Just do what feels...right."

Nodding, she closed her eyes and let her senses guide her to him once again.

This time, she allowed him to deepen the kiss, parting her lips and pulling them close so that her body moved against him – chest against his and the palm of her hand resting on his upper thigh and dangerously near something else, triggering a chain reaction that very nearly made him lose all control.

"How was that?" she asked when their lips snapped apart, and quickly got her answer when Haru reached for her without a seconds thought.

"Good," he breathed, "again."

Quickly overpowering her, Haru pushed her back onto the couch and descended on top of her, registering her quiet squeak of surprise and silencing it with another kiss.

They had been in this position before but this time, Gou could tell he was a little less hesitant, allowing his body to press against hers, close enough that she could not resist running a hand over his taut shoulders and his abdomen, feeling the firmness of his muscles beneath that blasted shirt of his.

His lips moved from her mouth, to the side of her jaw, his breath against the skin he had damped making her limbs writhe and restless underneath him.

She had not even registered that he was nestled between her legs, his pelvis a welcome weight on top of hers.

She shifted against him and heard him gasp.

He went to lift himself off of her but was stopped when Gou fisted the material of his shirt and craned her neck up to kiss him, urging him to continue.

Haru groaned appreciatively and slipped his tongue just past her bruised lips, but was sure to cut the heated moment short before he could get carried away.

"Careful," he warned, though there was a look on his face that she had never seen on him before.

He looked unsure, conflicted as always, but there was a boyish quality to his expression: an excitement and maybe even a little arrogance that was fed by her reaction to him.

Feeling encouraged, Haru's hands swept down her sides, flirting with the exposed skin of her abdomen under the hem of her blouse.

"You can tell me to stop anytime," he assured her, fingertips easing the material upwards.

Even as her kissed her again with devastating expertise, Gou felt her cheeks redden and resisted the urge to curl up and evade his exploration.

It was not because she did not like the gentleness of his hands on her. If the butterflies in her stomach were anything to go by, she was liking it very much.

It was more because Haru's body was the epitome of perfection in her eyes, and she was certainly not up to his standard – or anywhere in the spectrum of it.

"You're gorgeous," he breathed raggedly, as if he had read her thoughts.

She pouted up at him, "I'm not..." she said, and Haru took that as an invitation to kiss her again and show her exactly how desirable she was.

Ever since she had asked him for his help with this endeavour, there was not a moment that went by where Haru was not thinking of all the things he'd like to teach her, to show her just how good he could make her feel.

Even now, it was not difficult to imagine every which way he would have her, given the chance.

His body mimicked his fantasies, his hips thrusting into hers with increasing urgency, pleased to discover how incredibly receptive she was to his movements.

She moaned into his mouth and he smirked, unable to help but think that she would like this _so_ much more if they were not wearing any clothes.

In the heat of the moment, Haru reached down between them and between her thighs, seeking out the sensitive skin exposed by her school skirt that had rucked up underneath him.

As if snapping out of a trance, Gou grabbed at his wrist with lightning speed and exclaimed:

"W–What are you doing?"

Her panic did not seem to phase him; his voice was thick and throaty as he murmured against her lips:

"I want to touch you," he said. "I want to feel how wet you are for me."

Her insides melted but the alarmed expression on her face remained.

Haru wondered briefly if he could ever talk dirty to her and have her like it, or if she would ever be bold enough to tell him how good he felt herself.

She averted her gaze to the side, her voice small.

"It's embarrassing..."

"It's not," Haru assured her, the pressure of his hand down there increasing into circular motions over her underwear. He groaned as she threw her head back against the arm of the couch, employing his teeth and tongue to the skin she exposed. "You feel so _fucking_ good–"

Gou's cell phone vibrating on the coffee table startled them back to reality – a harsh, jarring noise that made them both jump apart.

Before she knew it, Haru had lifted himself off from on top of her and handed her the device before it went to voicemail.

The caller I.D that flashed on screen was enough to kill the mood and the hardening length in his pants.

Gou was still panting.

"Yes, onii-chan?"

"Mother says you are not home," Rin's voice boomed from the speakers – without as much as a word of greeting. "I thought practice ended a couple of hours ago?"

Haru looked to the time on the clock of the wall, wondering how he had lost track of it so easily.

"I stayed at school to study for a test I have tomorrow!" Gou lied fluidly. Then, she huffed: "what does it matter to you, anyways...!"

With Gou now otherwise occupied, Haru wrenched a hand through his hair and tried to catch his breath, realising that his chest was heaving as fast as it would after a 100m freestyle race.

"...Yes, I know it's a school night," she was saying to her brother on the phone. "...I'm not a child, onii-chan!"

He dealt her a sideways glance, feeling his excitement build again as his eyes tracked over her dishevelled clothing that had been unzipped, unbuttoned and brushed aside by his doing.

Her skirt had ridden up and her bra was visible where he had loosened her tie and undone a few buttons to kiss and mark the tops of her breasts.

He had to slip away to the bathroom and fill the sink with ice cold water to splash it over his face to calm down.

Afterwards, Haru stared at himself in the mirror, chest still heaving and wondering what the actual _fuck _he was doing.

If Gou and her ludicrous requests would not kill him, her brother certainly would.

Everyone knew how Rin reacted whenever he suspected that his sister was dating, and he was supposed to be one of his best friends.

If he found out what they had done just now, it would be like the ultimate betrayal in Rin's eyes.

A sin punishable by death.

He returned to the living room just as Gou was hanging up the call.

"I'm sorry about that," she said immediately, looking annoyed with herself more than anyone else.

Haru stood by the doorway with his hands in his trouser pockets, not daring to venture any closer.

"That's ok," he said, "it's late. Let's leave it at that for today."

The sun had set without their acknowledgement and in spite of Gou's insistence, Haru silently walked her back to the nearest train station.

Even after what had conspired between them just moments ago, Haru was sure to keep his distance, even going as far as apologising when their hands accidentally brushed as they walked beside each other.

They stopped by the station entrance, looking at each other for a while with shared unsurity.

Gou forced a smile onto her face when he could not.

"Um. Thank you, Haruka-senpai..." she said, and he forced down a lump forming in his throat.

"You're welcome," he said, mentally kicking himself when he did.

He did not want it to be like this.

He would be happier if they would still act like friends – so that their evening together would feel a little less..._transactional_ – even though it seemed impossible that that would ever be the case.

The silence that followed was filled with the sound of a train pulling into the station platform.

Gou glanced behind her at it and then back at him, "my train is here."

"Yes," Haru responded awkwardly, and she wrung her wrists with her hands.

"I've got to go..."

"Okay, see you tomorrow."

Her hesitance registered with him belatedly, only then realising she was holding out for something before she were to depart.

He had kissed plenty of girls goodnight before, but had never found it so hard to let one go.

He was still holding her face in his hands when the train conductor began blowing his whistle to signal the trains departure.

"Bye," she whispered, and was already halfway to the platform whilst he was still basking in the aftermath.

Haru walked home the long way that night, past the pier and through the town to gather his thoughts.

The stars were shining brighter than usual – though he had never noticed their brilliance until now – and looking up at them, he asked as if the heavens could answer:

What in the world was he _doing_?

Helping a friend out, of course – he reasoned, pathetically.

He would be starting college in Tokyo next year and a hundred miles away from her and here.

If he did not help her now, she could end up in some guys bed who did not care for her like he did, who would not make sure that her first time was the pleasant experience she deserved it to be.

Out of the blue, Haru recalled the conversation he had with Makoto about his university course, and why he had chosen coaching over pursuing professional athletics like him.

Makoto had replied that he liked teaching the kids at the local swimming pool, discovering that he enjoyed it more so than competing at swim meets.

"I guess I feel a sense of accomplishment when one of my students works hard and improves their time," he explained, "it makes me happy to know that I helped."

Haru smiled to himself, making his way home at last.

He supposed Makoto was right.

Teaching really was rewarding.


End file.
